Monday, May 4, 2015


Hello crafty friends, I'm back for an update. Had to take hubby to the ER because his fever got to 104. Kinda' freaked me out!! But with all the testing they did and what was done earlier in the week, everything came back perfectly normal. No gall tones or badder trouble or anything. It's a double edge sword, because I didn't want anything to be wrong that needed surgery, but was kinda' hoping they found an infection somewhere that they could just treat with antibiotics to make these fevers go away so hubby could go down to Hopkins. But that isn't the case, they have decided that it is the tumors causing the pain he is having and the fevers, so they want to get started on treatments ASAP. I was prepared to beg this morning to get them to start a treatment this week, but I didn't have to, thank the good Lord for that. Treatments start tomorrow morning at 8:40 am. It will take 3 consecutive weeks to get his full treatment plan into effect because of the paper work and such as he will be wearing a pump for 48 hours after treatment again. I just pray that the treatment at a lower dose this time around works and the side effects stay low. This was hubby's first treatment when we started on this journey but at a higher dose, but the side effects got to back and doc had to take him off it. The side effects are: cold sensitivity-has to drink warmed water, can't touch anything cold or it gives extreme pain, thankfully it isn't winter this go around! He couldn't even breathe in cold air as it would cause his throat to close up on him or I should say gave the sensation of it. He feet and fingers went number, so it got so he was falling a lot and couldn't button buttons and that is when doc pulled him off. It was the only treatment that worked on the tumors though. It shrunk the largest tumor by over half and the smaller tumors disappeared. So now I need it to work again with minor side effects so he can stay on it. Once or if the tumors are knocked back then the fever will leave too. So I'm still asking for prayers that this time around the treatment will work and not give him the side effects of the neropathy (sp) because that is what will cause them to pull him off this treatment. This treatment plan was the doctor from Hopkins backup plan in case the study didn't work. I wish we could have tried the study first, but God had other plans. So we will go with His plan and then if it all works out and the fevers leave, hubby will be able to wait the 28 days after getting off treatment and go down to do the study. 

Then on top of all that going on this weekend, my mother passed away Saturday late afternoon and I have the viewing and funeral stuff this week too. So I'm a bit scatterbrained to say the least. I didn't have a relationship with my mother, she chose alcohol over her family and was very abusive, so I had to make the choice to walk away from all of that in my 30's. Tried to go back a few times hoping that things had changed but they hadn't. My step-father said that she was still drinking heavily when he found her slumped over, he thought at first she just passed out cause she did that all the time. I guess she would drink herself to were she would just pass out. So even though I didn't have a relationship with my mother, she was still my mother and I want to go to the views and funeral and to support my step-father. He was an abused husband as my mother was a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. But I hope she is at peace now and not having to fight all the demons she was fighting. Sad it turned out this way but it was her choice, not mine. She gave me no choice but to walk away. So please keep hubby and myself in your prayers.  I need prayers to keep my sanity through all this. Thank you for reading this long post and if you stuck with me this far, I'm happy. If you didn't I totally understand. And most of all thank you for all of your support and prayers, I really believe that your prayers is what is keeping hubby's "numbers" looking very good and healthy. Crafty hugs, Brenda 


Unknown said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope all goes well with your husbands treatment and you can finally do the study. Sorry to hear about your mother - you tried and that was all you could do but at least you are being there for your stepfather. Take care and good luck x

Suzanne said...

Brenda I am so glad they are starting treatment again and will pray the side effects are not so bad this time. I know your mom and you were not close due to the choices she made but still a hard thing to lose your mom. Praying for strength for you and peace. Love ya girl.

Glenda said...

Praying that all goes well for your husband with the treatment. Sorry to hear of your mother's passing. May God comfort you with peace and strength at this time.

Brenda in IN said...

This is a much better update since they are starting hubbys treatment. Thank goodness. Prayers are coming your way for the treatment to work and for you both to have the strength to get through this. I'm so sorry about your mom and all she went through. It is a disease but it puts the family through hell. May she rest in peace. Hugs and prayers to you both.

Carol L said...

When it rains it pours sometimes Brenda, but keep your chin up and always keep hope in your heart! Things can always turn around toward the good side as well as the bad. I'm sorry for the painful relationship you had with your mother, but I do understand why you had to walk away and move on with your life. People choose how they want to live, and sometimes those choices come with severe consequences unfortunately! It's made you a stronger person in the long run I'm sure, and perhaps it's that strength that keeps you going today! Sending hugs and prayers your way!!!

Loll said...

Hi Brenda. I'm so sorry for all that Dwayne is having to go through. I'm glad the treatment is starting ... that's a relief that something is happening. I hope all goes well with the lower dose and the side effects are minimal. Maybe the tumors need to shrink before he starts the study. It all happens for a reason ... we know that.

Sorry to hear about your mom. It's sad that she didn't want to have a relationship with you. Unfortunately, it is her loss, but so hard for you too. Sounds like she had a very miserable life. I can imagine that you are very sad on top of stressed. Please take care of yourself too. You need to stay strong. You can do it! Sending hugs, love, and prayers your way. Loll xx

Sharon said...

I am so glad that they are starting a treatment! I pray that God uses this as a healing tool for the fever and DeWayne can start on the study.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. Sounds like this put the closing door on your loss of her years ago.
Hang in there. God has this and His will, will be done!!!!
Sending up prayers!

Shaz in Oz.CalligraphyCards said...

dear dear Brena good and bad news... praying much for hubby's treatment that ll will go well for him, and that side affects will be controlled to minimum. .. please dear sweet LORD, mercy in abundance .. grace for each and every moment of every day and strength for the way; Wisdom in direction for the doctors and all concerned in the treatment.

Sad to read of your dear moths passing ...sad indeed for a life not used well. Pray much for you and all associated with this at this time,
Big hugs and many prayers for you at the throne of grace, Brenda.
Shaz in Oz.x

"So shall they fear the name of the LORD from the west, and his glory from the rising of the sun.
When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD shall lift up a standard against him." Isaiah 59:19

Vickie said...

So glad that the doctor is starting treatment again on Dwayne. Hopefully the side affects won't be as bad if at all this time around.

Sorry to hear about your mom. I've been that route also, but my mom chose to quit and was sober for the last ten years of her life. This will be a trying week for you and I will be thinking and keeping you in my prayers. I'm here if you need me.

Veerle said...

Oh my dear, Brenda you truly have a lot on your plate lately. Besides your troubles mine look like little minor things. But i am happy to hear they start up a treatment for your hubby. Let's all hope together with you that there will be only minor side effects. Both of you are always in my mind and in my heart dear friend.
So sad to read about your mother too. Ofcourse she still is your mom and it is only normal that her death does affect you. Take courage dear to go through this difficult time. Sending you lots of love and a mega hug.
Veerle x x x

Anonymous said...

Brenda... so sorry things have gotten worse...but thank God they have started doing something. I pray this works for all of you. (with minimal side effects) And now a funeral. Sorry about your mother. By the choices she made she is the one who missed out. Extra prayers just to get you through this week. Good luck with starting treatment this morning. So many prayers for all of you. Take care of yourself, my friend.

Lisa said...

I am so glad that they are starting the treatment right away so that your hubby can feel better. Praying that it works without the side effects this time. And I'm praying for you my friend. I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. You are in my thoughts and daily prayers. Sending big comforting hugs.

A Mermaid's Crafts

Sue said...

Hi Brenda so glad to hear your hubby is starting treatment and hoping the side effects aren't as bad as last time..sorry to hear about your Mother eldest brother was an alcoholic and it's so sad to watch and see them choose the bottle over everything and everyone else and like you I chose to walk away because I could'nt bear it. Your family is in my thoughts my dear friend and in my prayers..lots of huggles Sue xxxx

MaryH said...

Just to say I'm sending many prayers & Big Hugs to get you through this difficult time. God Bless & keep you. MM

Di said...

Oh Brenda, for once in my life I'm lost for words. So much is being thrown at you right now. I so hope that Dwayne's treatment plan is a positive step in the right direction. And I'm sad about your Mom too - as someone else said, it's a disease and so hard on family.

Love you lots!


Di xx

Darnell said...

Your update just popped into my reader, honey. I'm so very sorry that Dwayne's fevers didn't go away. I will certainly pray that the treatment works to knock back the tumors causing the fevers and that the side-affects are bearable.

And I'll add a prayer for you for extra strength as you deal with this week and all the necessities involved with your mother's funeral. You know I understand what it's like to have an alcoholic abusive mother and I think you are a saint for doing what you're doing! Sending love and mega-wrap-all-the-way-around squishy hugs! God bless you both endurance. Mwah, Auntie

Nessa's Crafty Place said...

Hello Brenda,I came here via Mary's Blog-to stop by and say hello and send you both a hug :) xx
Best wishes,Nessa xxx

Liz said...

Visiting here from Mary's blog. Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and your family at this difficult time. Sending (((hugs))) from across The Pond xx

scrapqueen141 said...

I'm so sorry to hear all that has happened. My prayers are with your husband during his treatment and I will be praying for you this week as you attending the funeral!

Sue said...

(((Brenda & hubby))) sending you hugs and loads of healing thoughts to your hubby.

So sorry to hear of the passing of your mum. Hope the funeral goes as well as could be expected. Sue

Jo Williams Independent Stampin' Up Demonstrator said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you through this hard and difficult time. I'm so happy to hear that your husband will be getting treatment done again and praying for great news after 3 weeks and I am extremely sorry to hear about your mom. I knew of the relationship between you and her from our talks but she still was your mom and I'm sorry that you are left to deal with all of this right now.

Maarit at Violets Corner said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Brenda. It must have been a very difficult choice to walk away from your mother. But that strength is a blessing for you now. I'm keeping you and your Hubby in my prayers and thoughts.

Lots of love and warm hugs

Leslie Germain said...

WOW, Brenda!! You have been dealing with a lot lately!! Glad they have finally decided to treat him with the first treatment that worked. Hope it goes better this time around!! Praying for you both!! Sorry about your mom!! Such a hard thing to have to deal with in many ways!! But you are the sweetest person and I think you made the right choice walking away, even though it was hard!! But like you said, she was still your mother - and I am sorry for your loss - in many ways!!! xoxo

Anita in France said...

Prayers and warm thoughts daily for you both, Brenda, in all that you're handling right now. Hugs, Anita :)

Joshua 1:9
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

D- said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you both. I pray that this treatment is just the one you have been praying for and all goes well.
I'm sorry for the loss of your Mother both now and through the choices she made.
I saw your sweet comment. I appreciate you taking the time to leave it. No catching up is needed.
Please take care of yourself.
Sending healing hugs,

scrappymo! said...

Oh Brenda...such a sad story.Your mother did not realize what she was giving up...the joy of a lovely daughter like yourself!

Unknown said...

I'm a little behind in visiting, so my sympathies are a little tardy. I'm sorry that you have so much on your plate. It is a shame that your mother passed without realizing what she was missing out on. And my prayers are with you and hubby. Hopefully all will go well and he will soon be in the study.