Hello my crafty friends, it has taken me a bit to do this post. Hubby and I went down to Hopkins on Monday. Hubby doesn't qualify for the study because he isn't "healthy" enough. The doctor told him to go home and live out the remainder of his time the best he could with the family. It was devastating news to us both, but I know what the doctor said was true. Hubby is going down hill everyday, I'm not sure he will even make it through the fall. It was hard having to tell our boys and I just got that done on Tuesday night. Our oldest is in the military and I have to judge when hubby is really bad, but not bad enough to pass before I can go through the Red Cross to get our son home to say his goodbye. I have to say this is really tough! I guess too, I should say that we are a blended family, we had "yours", "mine" and "ours". Son #1 and #3 were mine, son's 2, 4 and 5 where hubby's and son #6 is ours together. But very few people realize it or remember it. As a teacher once told me, "I forget you have a blended family because, a) the boys all look alike, b) you both treat them all the same so no one would really know that they aren't yours or that they are all real brothers. Well they are real brothers in every sense of the word, they just don't have the same blood. So our boys are hurting-all of them. My husband was a great father to all our boys or should I say men because they really are, but still boys to me and my heart. He taught them great work ethics and I'm so proud of the men they have become. Our youngest of course is the one who is in his second year of college, he is the one I worry about the most. It's going to be hard for us all, but I think especially hard on him. Now I have to brag, all our guys have stepped up to the plate to make sure I now they are here for me. One has told me he will make it his mission to make sure that myself and my youngest are taken care of if anything happens to his father. How sweet is that?! I know they all will do whatever they have to and what ever they can to see me through this. It is I who should be seeing them through this, not the other way around. But I'm a sissy and will need them.
So today we go see our oncologist, hubby get's his shot and I look for the doctor to call Hospice in very soon. Hubby isn't eating well at all and he isn't drinking much, I know he is getting dehydrated because the nurse had a hard time getting blood from him for his blood test yesterday. I will have some scheduled posts to fulfill my design team obligations (and no, I don't have to do this, but feel obligated to do it because I kinda' get paid, paid in stamps) coming up. After that I don't know when I will be back to blogging. The guys and I will have much to do when we lose hubby. So much farm equipment that will need to be sold and I haven't a clue about what it is even worth and of course the list will go on. Will have to find affordable health insurance for myself and our youngest. Hubby is only 52, so his job still carries us on their health insurance, hubby has worked for this local company for 35 years, started with them at 17 years old, so his boss made sure he covered the whole family without it costing us a cent! Yes, we are blessed, but once hubby is gone, that will be gone too. I am very thankful for them for taking care of us the way they have this last 2 years, they have certainly went above and beyond what they had to as they continued to pay hubby his pay whether he worked or not. Yes, blessed we are with this company. Not many employers would or do do this! So I can't complain except for the fact of this cancer taking my husband here one day.
I also want to thank all of you who have left messages for me, prayed for us and sent cards to us. I can't even begin to list you all as I would probably miss someone, but you know who you are and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Hubby just couldn't believe all the people praying for him. It truly touched his heart as well as mine!!
If you are still with me this far, bless your heart. I will be back to let everyone know when hubby has passed, but don't know when I will be crafting again. Maybe I will feel the need to scrap my pictures and will post them, or maybe not. I don't know how I will feel. I do know that I love you all and will never forget the love and support you have instilled upon us. Until then......crafty love and hugs to you all! Brenda